- Me: Sorry I turned into such a grumpus this afternoon.
- Coworker Adam: Oh I didn't think you did, but don't worry about it.
- Me: Maybe I'll start a literary-minded whiny blog and call it The Grumpus...or name my memoir that.
- CA: MIDWESTERN GRUMPUS: The Sam Howard Story
[knock on the door]
Me (looking fly in my adorable apron): Hi?
Boy (in basketball shorts, knee high socks, sandals and a hoodie): Are you cooking something that smells like it’s burning?
Me: I’m cooking, but nothing is burning…
Me: Okay! Bye!
What I should have said: “Hello young boy! I am cooking something called vegetables! They are being pan cooked with a bit of oil. In fact, I’ve jut put them on the burner not a moment ago. What you’re smelling is a fresh zucchini and a red pepper! Isn’t that a treat? I’m not sure what kinds of things burn in your house around dinner time, but there are no burning smells coming from here. I’d invite you in to see this rarity called cooked veggies, but I am afraid of the world and would like to close my door now and continue dancing to Janelle Monae. Please go bother the person upstairs blaring Spanish music at a level that is making it all the way over to Harlem.”
We all have known
Good critics, who have stamped out poet’s hopes;
Good patriots, who, for a theory, risked a cause;
Good kings, who disembowelled for a tax;
Good Popes, who brought all good to jeopardy;
Good Christians, who sat still in easy-chairs;
And damned the general world for standing up.—
Now, may the good God pardon all good men!
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, from book 4 of Aurora Leigh